TIRED OF TRYING....GIRLS' EDITION

Ever since creation man and woman have tried to understand each other.Trying to figure out what the other should be doing, how they should behave and who is the 'leader'..i use that term loosely..As always i researched on the internet and more than a million results popped up on Google..from research done by Cosmo Mag to the static journals of psychologists debating that the this conundrum can only be solved by the mutual understanding of the two..what utter nonsense...So i turned to a simpler book which in my view has all the answers..The woman shall be a companion and a helper....the man should love his wife as Christ loved the church..How simple you can't argue with that...I'm not doubting this statements..but here's where companionship and all things about helping become a tad bit difficult.

This is a list of all the types of men that will never ever experience:mutual understanding,companionship,true love or the great help from a woman....

1.THE LEACH:This is the type of guy who thinks its ok to suck the life out of his girlfriend's/clande's life.I mean socially,mentally,physically,economically and not forgetting spiritually.He's the type of guy who has no shame when you find him and his posse of 5 dudes in your kitchen blowing through your week's shopping of food.He's the type of guy who will feel nothing when he sends himself credit when you leave to powder your nose. He will feel nothing when he borrows you money to go 'chill' with his buddies...

2.THE 'COME WE CHILL GUY':This is a very unique type of dude. He is well endowed with vocabulary that incinuates he would date you in a heart beat when in the true sense his lurking around just to get some cake. He's the master of excuses,tailored perfectly to make you feel its not you,its him...When he is need of 'some' he will constantly harras you with texts like:

a). Hey, been a minute..Come let's chill

b).I have a boti..come over

c). Smoking up alone..wish you were here

d). In the house?Wanna bum?

e). Plan or plan?

f). When are we making out?..its been a minute?

g).Looking fly today...come we chill

h). I like the way you hug,the way you laugh,the way you do your hair....

NOTE:Chill and bum are loose terms for sex.

3. THE SHY GUY : This is the type of guy who apparently has zero knowledge and operates like he just landed on earth and has no sense. He will never take the initiative to start anything with his love interest who mark you are several. He waits for the girl to take the first step and the next,and the third till he gets what he wanted. He will hide behind excuses like I'm a shy guy,I don't talk a lot, You're very intimidating....always building the courage to do something but miraculously never seems to do so..In an argument with this guy, you will loose every single time as he will never engage.

NOTE:He specializes in making you look bad and will dump you in a heart beat saying "You're the one who wanted the relationship not me."

4.THE SLOTH:This is the guy who is as lazy as..as..as...even a sloth moves.He has nothing to do at all.He will play video games,watch tv,sleep,eat,,,,sleep some more and has the nerve to say how tired he gets...very boring guy coz he has an excuse for not doing things and he is always looking for work without actually stepping out of the house..He blames society, girl child campaigns and women empowerment for his lack of motivation and drive.

NOTE:This type is growing in numbers..careful.

5). THE BULLY:This type is abuse all round.You will have no idea that he is until you're entangled in a relationship with him.Enter the hurtful comments about your hair,your choice of polish or the car you drive.Then starts the hitting,a slap today,a punch tomorrow,a kick next month and by the end of the year,the emergency room. If you think you will change him and he will stop...booboo don't be stupid.

NOTE:They are getting younger by the day.

6). THE CON MAN:This guy will lie about anything and everything to have his way.He is very manipulative.He will fake love,,feign that he will die without you and that you are his number one. He will lie about where he lives, what he does, who he hangs out with and how much he earns. You will be wined and dined when he's darting you for a relationship then enter the true him.He will ask to jointly own an account, jointly start a business.Notice you're too busy to manage it and so you put in your money and let him run it.Last time you heard, he was with your colleague and he's opening a business with her.

7). THE SWAG BOY:This dude is all about swag..hmmm,here's the catch he thinks what he does is his own swag but props to him for owning it..not..he is not ashamed of walking around in a leso, t-shirt and bathroom slippers and counters any negative comment with "why should i dress up in this place,its too much work". They are rich kids no doubt but their overtly casual demeanor and don't care attitude is a big turn off. They claim to be choosy with the people they associate with, girls they date, girls they sleep with and even speak to yet their 'sexcapades' are all over. They've even developed new dialects which only their inner circle friends know and are allowed to use.

NOTE:There is no chance in hell for a meaningful relationship.They are closely related to guy number 2.

 

 CO Writer: Diana R.